Explaining the UnExplained in Pirates
by Daviana Roze
Summary: This is just a story my friends and I came up with to explain some of the things in Pirates.


Explaining the Un-Explained in _Pirates of the Caribbean_

Chapter 1: What Happens if the New Davy Jones Steps on Land?

(_In the movies, they only tell you that Davy Jones can only step on land once every ten years. Here's what I think will happen if the new captain of the _Dutchman_ tries to step on land. Yes, I mean Will. And thank you Sara for the idea!_)

Will sat in his cabin, alone, just thinking. "I really miss Elizabeth. We had such a good time the last time I saw her."

A sailor suddenly burst through the door. "Captain! We're headed for land!"

"Run her straight and true!" Will ordered.

PoTc

Twenty minutes later, the crew had docked the _Dutchman_, under water, of course!

The crew slowly rose, up to their necks, out of the water.

Each crew member slowly stepped on land, Will in the very back. Will's first step on land, nothing happened. But as soon as his other foot hit land, he just went _poof_.

The crew looked around, confused, and then went back to the ship. They appointed Bootstrap Bill as their new captain.

PoTc

Two years later, the Crew, still avidly searching for their Captain, but rapidly losing hope, see a man standing on some god-forsaken spit-of-land…in a bucket of water!

Their Captain waved both hands above his head and yelled, "Hey you guys! Get me off this god-forsake spit-of-land!"

The Crew pulled in, rescued him, then sailed off into the sunset, slowly sinking.

_And that's what happens when the new Davy Jones steps on land!_

Chapter 2: How Did Davy Jones Get on Land in the Bucket?

(_In the third _Pirates_ movie _[At World's End]_, Davy Jones is standing on an island in a bucket of water. What I want to know is how he got there. Thank you Sara, again, for the idea! I still lurv you!_)

"How am I gonna get over to that island?" Davy asked Beckett.

"You could jump," Beckett suggested coolly.

Davy, Beckett, and Will took a row-boat to the shore of the rendezvous island.

Will and Beckett counted off, "1, 2, 3!" and Davy jumped.

Davy got one foot in the bucket, but the other on land. He lost his balance and fell, _poof_.

"Where in the world did he go?" Beckett asked no body in particular.

"Beckett! Bring that boat back!" Davy yelled from the deck of the _Dutchman_.

"How am I gonna get onto that island?" Dave asked again.

"Beckett and Mercer will carry you," Will suggested brightly.

"Why us?" Beckett and Mercer "sweat-dropped."

"Get in the boats!" Davy ordered.

"Take two!" Will shouted.

Mercer and Beckett tried to carry Davy, hammock-style. Mercer had his hands and Beckett had his feet.

_Poof_!

Back in the boats and to the island.

"Take three!"

They tried to carry him seat-style. They dropped him before they even got out of the boats.

"Take four!"

They finally got him onto the island by dragging him and the boat onto the shore, then Davy stepped out of the boat and into the bucket of water.

_And that's how they got Davy Jones on land in the bucket of water!_

Chapter 3: How Do They Start the Fires on the Island?

(_Okay, in the first Pirates movie _[Curse of the Black Pearl]_ after Barbossa maroons Jack and Elizabeth. They start two fires, but you never know how the fires get started. Here's what I think happens._)

"Bloody pirate!" Elizabeth yelled, shaking her fist at the _Pearl_.

Jack found the tree he was looking for and took three "Jack steps."

"Welcome to the Caribbean, love!" Jack said, reappearing from a hole in the ground carrying two bottles of rum.

PoTc

"It is getting dark. How ever will we start a fire?" Elizabeth asked animatedly, and drunk.

"Well, rum is fire-able," Jack slurred.

"I found some matches!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she pulled a matchbook out of her bodice.

They sat a bottle of rum into the middle of a bunch of sticks and logs. Elizabeth lit a match and dropped it in the bottle.

_BOOM!_

As soon as the match hit the rum, the entire thing exploded.

"Oops! Sorry!" Elizabeth yelled as Jack dodged a glass dagger.

"S'alright, love," Jack stood up and brushed the sand off his pants.

"Okay! Second try!" Elizabeth sang cheerily.

They gathered more sticks together and poured rum over them. Elizabeth lit a match, threw it, then ran as fast as she could back to the trees.

"We have fire!" Jack yelled, raising his hands to the sky and doing a victory dance, still holding his bottle of rum.

PoTc

"We're devils, we're scoundrels, we're really bad eggs! Drink up, me hearties, yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!" Jack and Elizabeth sang as they danced around the fire.

"Really bad eggs!" Jack repeated as he fell into the sand.

PoTc

Jack, who had passed out cold the night before, awoke to the smell of smoke.

(_Hey, look! I'm a poet!_)

Elizabeth had taken embers from the last night's fire and started another, bigger fire under the trees. She was throwing in boxes of rum to fuel the fire.

"You burned all the food! The shade! The rum!" Jack accused.

"Yes, the rum is gone," Elizabeth confirmed.

"But why is the rum gone?" Jack reiterated.

_And that's how they start the fires on the island!_

Chapter 4: Where Did Elizabeth's Gun Come From?

(_Mmk, in the third Pirates movie [At World's End] what's-his-face-Japanese-Singaporean-dude tells Elizabeth to take off her clothes and get rid of her guns. She takes off her outer shirt, takes off her gun straps, then bends over backwards and removes a gun. What I want to know is where that gun came from. Thanks to Ash for the idea! I lurv you!_)

"You think that just because she is a woman, we wouldn't suspect her of treachery?" what's-his-face hounded Barbossa and Elizabeth.

"Well, when you put it that way," Barbossa replied.

"Remove, please," what's-his-face ordered.

Elizabeth removed her hat, then her shirt. She took four guns out of their places. She removed a bomb from somewhere. She bent over backwards and started pulling at something.

If the camera had zoomed in, we would've seen about four pirate fairies flying around her leg. They were holding a HUGE gun. The reason she had to pull at it was because the fairies wouldn't let go.

_And that's where Elizabeth's gun comes from!_

Chapter 5: How Do Pintel and Ragetti Tie Themselves to the Mast?

(_Okay, in the third Pirates movie [At World's End] Pintel and Ragetti tie themselves up-side-down to the mast before the boat flips. I want to know how they did it._)

"We're rockin' the ship!" Ragetti exclaimed as he ran past Pintel.

(A/N: If you give me a blank stare when I say Pintel and Ragetti, I'll go all Freddy Kruger on your butt and kill you in your dreams!)

"We're rockin' the ship!" Pintel repeated.

Ragetti came back a few minutes later witha coil of rope. "Let's tie ourselves up-side-down to the mast so when the boat flips, we'll be right-side-up!" he gushed.

First, Pintel tried doing a handstand, but fell over. Then Ragetti tried. Pintel ran around Ragetti and the mast, then realized he had no way to get tied up.

"Marty!" Pintel yelled.

"What?" the midget came over, looked at Ragetti, who was beginning to get red in the face, then at Pintel.

"We're tyin' ourselves up-side-down to the mast so when the boat flips, we'll be right-side-up!" Pintel explained to a very puzzled Marty.

Pintel did another handstand and managed to stay up long enough for Marty to get him tied to the mast.

Then the boat flipped.

_And that's how they tied themselves up-side-down to the mast!_

Chapter 6: Why are Tia Dalma's Teeth Black?

(_Mmk, in the second Pirates movie [Dead Man's Chest] Jack goes to see "her." Well, "her" is Tia Dalma and her teeth are always black. I want to know how they got that way._)

Tia Dalma is sitting in her cabin-hut-thingy on this river somewhere. She is looking at a mirror, smiling. Her teeth are perfectly white.

She heard voices down the river and quickly started covering her teeth with a black substance.

Jack opened the door and walked in, followed by William Turner, Mr. Gibbs, Pintel, and Ragetti. "I always knew the winds of chance would be blowin' you back to me one day," Tia Dalma said, walking out and going over to Jack.

"Tia Dalma!" he said brightly as way of a greeting.

She suddenly veered her course. "You have a touch of...destiny. about you...William Turner."

_And that's why Tia Dalma's teeth are black._

Chapter 7: What Mark Did Jack Leave on Beckett?

(_Okay, in the second Pirates movie [Dead Man's Chest] Beckett is talking to Will and says that he and Jack both left their mark on the other. We know what mark Beckett left on Jack, his pirate brand. What I want to know is, what mark did Jack leave on Beckett?_)

"The East India Trading Company has need of your services. We wish for you to act as our agent in a business transaction with our mutual friend Captain Sparrow," Beckett explained to Will as he paced his office.

"More acquaintance. How do you know him?" Will asked monotonously.

"We've had dealings in the past. And we've each left our mark on the other," Beckett offered as an explination.

"What mark did he leave on you?" Will questioned.

"Well, you see, I don't see fit to give you an answer, Mr. Turner."

"Why won't you just tell me, Lord Beckett?"

"You see, it's more than a little embarassing-" Beckett was cut off.

"Heard Sparrow shot him in the bum," Mercer spurted randomly.

"Jack...shot you...in the bum?" Will asked between laughs.

"Yes, he did," Beckett admitted, turning red with embarassment.

_And that's what mark Jack left on Beckett!_

Chapter 8: Why is the Rum Really Always Gone?

Jack walked a compass across a map as his compass spun and moved with the rocking of the _Pearl_.

(A/N: The first compass is one of those things that you use to draw circles. The second compass is Jack's compass that doesn't point north.)

He picked up his bottle of rum and raised it to his lips to take a swig. He almost immediatly put it back down.

"Why is the rum always gone?" he asked his empty cabin.

He stood up, took one step, nearly fell, and said, "Oh, that's why."

He went below deck to find more rum. "As you were men," he ordered as he passed his sleeping crew.

He found no rum, then Bootstrap Bill showed up.

Jack didn't know that the pirate fairies had taken all the rum and dumped it overboard, then put all the bottles back.

_And that's why the rum is really always gone!_

Chapter 9: Why Does Every Man Elizabeth Kisses Die?

(_Okay, if anyone else has noticed, every man that Elizabeth kisses ends up dead. SHe kissed Jack in the second movie [Dead Man's Chest] and he gets eaten by the kraken. She kisses Sao Feng in the third movie [At World's End] and he gets impaled by his own ship. She kissed Norrington in the third movie and he gets run through by Bootstrap Bill. She kisses Will in the third movie and he gets stabbed by Davy Jones, then stabs Davy Jones' heart, thus becoming the new captain of the _Flying Dutchman_. And that makes it so he can only see Elizabeth once every ten years._)

*Flashback to the First Brethern Court*

"Every child who bares the name Swann will be cursed for all eternity!" Calypso screamed at the man who "bound her in her bones."

She turned and glided quickly our of the nearest door. When she reached the ocean, she seemed to disappear.

*Flashforward to the end of the second movie*

Elizabeth pressed her lips to Jack's. She took a hesitant step towards him, trying to force him back. He followed. She back him up until his back was against the mast.

She handcuffed one of his hands to the mast, then Jack pulled away as he heard the click. He had a hurt a confused look on his face.

"I had to. It's not after us, or the ship. It's after you," she leaned her face in to his, almost like she was going to kiss him again. "I'm not sorry."

Those cruel words were the last he would hear in this life. And then she was gone.

He heard his crew rowing away, then a mor menacing sound. The Kraken.

He quickly located an oil lamp, struggled to grab it, then broke it on the mast and drizzled the oil over his handcuffed hand.

He worked his hand out of the cuff and turned.

The Kraken roared in his face, spitting his hat out, covered in slimy spit.

He slung most of the goo off, then put his hat back on his head. He drew his sword, faced the Kraken, and said, "'Ello, beastie."

*Flashforward to middle of the third movie*

"I will take...your fury," Sao Feng whispered just before he pressed his lips to Elizabeth's.

She pushed him back and he looked confused.

All of a sudden, a big splinter of wood came flying through the wall. It impaled his right through his stomach.

*Flashforward to the end of the middle of the third movie*

"Go!" Norrington ordered Elizabeth just before he pressed his lips tenderly to hers. She stood there for a second, then obeyed his command.

"Prisoners escaping!" Bootstrap Bill yelled as Norrington turned to face him, sword drawn.

"Go back to your station!" he ordered.

"Part of the ship, part of the crew," Bootstrap chanted. He started walking towards Norrington.

Bootstrap suddenly pulled his sword and ran Norrington through the stomach.

Davy Jones walked up to him and asked his signature question, "Do you fear death?"

Norrington's last action was to pull his sword and stab Davy Jones.

*Flashforward to end of the third movie*

"Just kiss!" Barbossa ordered the newly-wed couple, Will and Elizabeth.

They hooked arms and kissed quickly before turning back to the fight.

PoTc

Davy Jones stabbed Will in the heart as Elizabeth watched, horrified. Then he turned the sword in Will's chest, ruining any chance of survival he had.

As Will lay there, dying, Jack came over, holding his sword-turned-dagger and Davy Jones' heart. He curled Will's fingers around the hilt and plungded the blade into the heart.

Jack carried Elizabeth back to the _Pearl_ as the _Dutchman_'s crew made Will their new Captain.

_And that's why every man Elizabeth kisses dies!_


End file.
